I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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