If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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