He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
