He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
