that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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