I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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