I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
