words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
