i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize