So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it penis luge time yet?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
