they need to just BURY HIM!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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