It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug