If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger