I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK