First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
