I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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