fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
