Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
