you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I believe in your delicious
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
