I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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