Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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