did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
