Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
