I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
