i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
