My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
