In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
