my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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