He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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