"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
