He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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