I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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