didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
