so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
