I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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