When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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