Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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