Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just google imaged poop.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
