A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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