My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
