We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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