my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize