just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
this must be what syphilis tastes like
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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