No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
