My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
