I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
