the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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