the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize