Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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