Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
someone get that fucking seahorse.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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