Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
