You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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