PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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