this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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