hotel room ftw
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
