Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
