i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
