I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
