eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
