plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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