i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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