i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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