Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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