remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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