I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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