dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
