Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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