pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
