I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
