So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
