At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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