So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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