id be glad to
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are a genius and a whore.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
