we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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