carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
